I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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