Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
