belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
