We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
