my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
