Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
