Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
