I could make wine with my vomit
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The adults are the big ones right?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
