That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
