PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
