Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She's the barista slut.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
