I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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