yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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