I wish life had little blips of pornography
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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