Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
