But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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