Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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