so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
