I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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