You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
