So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
