It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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