You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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