So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
