Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
