How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
