3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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