too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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