Sry I called you an 8
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
