I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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