i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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