Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
