I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
