try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
