apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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