he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize