They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
