I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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