i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
