Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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