The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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