operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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