have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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