What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
