Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
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I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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