Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
