I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also, beer. Big fan.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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