This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
