she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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