yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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