"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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