Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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