I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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