Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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