im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
