Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
