Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
