I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
