All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
