SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
