I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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