your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
