dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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