i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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