One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
