my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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