Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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